For a good portion of my life, I have struggled with depression. With current events going on right now, plus the ongoing pandemic, I have felt very down. Honestly, there are times I do not even want to write.

When I was younger, my depression used to be so bad that I did not want to get out of bed and shower. I would go to class all smelly and dirty. Eventually, I had to take medication for depression.

Last year, I learned of a type of depression I never knew existed. There is such a thing as high-functioning depression. Even though I feel very pessimistic a lot of my days, I can get out of bed and go to work and hold down a freelance writing side job. Many might have high-functioning Depression and not even know they have the condition.

Those with high-functioning Depression have many of the same symptoms as those with classical depression. These people feel a little down most of the time or feel jaded and cynical. There are other symptoms such as decreased mood, insomnia or getting too much sleep, feeling tired all the time, low-self-esteem, having difficulty concentrating or making a decision, and a sense of sadness that does not go away.

The main difference between high-functioning depression and low-functioning depression is that those with high functioning depression can get out of bed and mask their symptoms while in public. In my opinion, high-functioning depression goes hand-in-hand with my high-functioning Autism. By hiding my condition in public, I am often exhausted when I get home.

If left untreated, high-functioning depression can turn into low-functioning depression. I see a therapist for my depression and anxiety and will likely be on medication for the rest of my life to manage the symptoms. Of course, pills alone won’t completely solve every problem related to depression. The anxiety and depression are why I have channeled my energy into writing as it gives me a purpose to live.

Even though I still battle depression, I am in a better place than I was 10-15 years ago. I’ve had a steady part-time job and have friends I can communicate with when I feel down. Also, I’ve found a church home where I feel welcomed despite my disability and still being single in my mid-30s. As I have stated before, belonging to a supportive community goes a long way towards managing depressive episodes.

Depression is not something one can snap out of and immediately feel better. Managing the condition takes hard work and fighting those negative voices in one’s head that make depression worse. I’m attempting to find the good amongst all the bad that has happened over the past year.

Just because someone can appear normal in public does not mean they are okay on the inside. Depression is still depression, whether it’s high or low functioning. However, as long as you give each day your best, that is all that matters.

Do you suffer from depression, and if so, how do you manage your condition? Comment in the section below.