National Friendship Day by Aaron Tanner

Before I begin my latest blog post, I want to say a happy 30th anniversary to the Americans with Disabilities Act. On July 26, 1990, this landmark legislation passed, preventing discrimination in employment and business places based on a person’s disability. Although there is still more work that is needed, many people with disabilities have benefited from this law.

Turning our attention to something else, the first Sunday in August is National Friendship Day. Those who have read my blogs know that I have Aspergers. Due to the issues with social and communication skills, many with the condition have problems maintaining friendships.

Before the outbreak of Covid-19, I regularly had lunch with neurotypical friends and participated in regular social events. One year I even went on an overnight trip with some friends to an Atlanta Braves baseball game at their new stadium in Cobb County, Georgia. I also started attending a local support group, specifically for adults in our area with an Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Although it took me many years to learn how to make friends, I am very thankful that I have friends to do things with and have conversations. Although I may not have as many friends as the average extrovert, what I do have as far as friendship is, in my opinion, high quality.

I think the reason I have bucked the trend of not having friends is not only maturity but also the willingness to reach out to people and plan social activities. Although I have friends on the spectrum, I think having friends who are neurotypical has helped stretch my social skills to new limits as I learn how to have conversations with people who are different from me.

Do not get me wrong; sometimes, it takes effort to check with my friends to see how they are doing, listen to their concerns, and plan outings that get me out of the house. However, it beats the alternative of being lonely.

During this social distancing period, it’s been nice to talk to a friend to vent issues I’ve had related to social distancing and being in quarantine. Sadly, many people with a disability, not just those who have Aspergers, are entirely isolated and don’t have a single friend.

When I read social media posts of adults with Aspergers who are in their 30s and 40s with no friends, I feel their pain because, for the longest time, I did not have any close friends. I had to work at making friends.

For individuals and families struggling with various disabilities, I encourage you to join Tennessee Valley Unite’s Facebook support page. Not only will the page provide support for those going through the ups and downs related to living with special needs, but you might also make a new friend or two.

On this National Friendship Day, be thankful for the friends you have and let them know how grateful they are to be in your life. I do not know what I would do if I did not have any friends for socialization.

Do you have any tips for making and keeping friends? Comment in the section below.